Day 18- What am I afraid of?

What is fear?

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Irrational fear-
So don’t laugh but I am pretty terrified of sheep. You laughed. It’s okay so does everyone else.
This irrational fear is more known amongst my friends and actually is fairly hidden, in a need to prevent passing on my own ridiculous fears to Lila I have come a long way to be comfortable in this fear.
It’s their teeth. And a horrible dream I had when I was younger (I was about 6, 20 years on I am still terrified at the memory).

The dream:
So I am a vivid dreamer, but I imagine some of the details have become more folk law with the recounting of this dream many times over. So in the dream, I work in a lab. The type that tests on animals for medicine. (This is ridiculous because a) I am not scientific…atall. b) I’m not too cool with animal testing, for any reason ever. I know for some people that makes me heartless because surely the maximisation of human life right? Well actually no, we should all live fulfilling lives but death is an unfortunate but integral stage of the human experience so why should we torture animals to prolong that life, why is the human life deemed more important? Okay this took a turn) Anyway, to grow human organs in sheep human cells are injected into sheep embryo (I do not know if this is true, please tell me if it is not, but this is what the deal was in the dream) the cell attached the embryos organ and changes the growth pattern (I’m sure it’s much more complicated than that). But anyway so in the dream this happened and a sheep grew a human brain, it obviously knew that humans would just destroy it if found so it escaped and then reproduced. Until sheep, all had human brains and then fought back and killed us all.


Rational fear-
My constant need for approval, crushing self-confidence issues should be evident by now so it should be no surprise my most rational fear, along with what I would imagine is a large amount of the population, is Failure.  No not the band #smallplug but the very real and soul destroying potential circumstance of putting myself out there, investing in something and it not coming to fruition. Having to tell my Dad I tried but I wasn’t quite good enough. Waking up in the morning after investing emotionally, financially or physically in an idea and then nothing…

Well, now I am feeling #bummed cheers daily blog challenge 😦


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